i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
