I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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