shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
