new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
