did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize