I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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