no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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