Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
