Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
