how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
