did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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