I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
