So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
