I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
