How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
