Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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