so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize