we made out on top of his cat.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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