Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
