we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
