id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
