doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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