I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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