If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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