I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
