YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
