plz talk dirty to me
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
