also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
