the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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