I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
