we're making bets on your personal life
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
