I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
