just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
