can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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