Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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