Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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