Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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