i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
