i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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