i think my tv is drunk
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
