You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
