hell yes lets make some ravioli
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
