So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
