I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
