You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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