i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
