My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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