He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
