alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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