So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
