I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
