It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
