I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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